Have you met your ideal person but not sure if you’re ready to take the next big step? That scary C word? Commitment? Or maybe you’ve just met someone and you’ve been swept away with all that oxytocin that you feel confused when the high starts to wear off. This article is for you, to help you ponder and probe deeper into what you truly desire. Here are 10 things to ask yourself to see if you’re ready for a relationship.
1. You’ve worked through your own issues
Life experiences impact who we are and how we perceive the world and others. Through this lens, it’s like seeing the world through tinted glasses. It’s important to have worked and continue to work through past trauma and issues so we don’t bring them into our next relationship and see that relationship through the same lens that hasn’t been working for you. Working through these issues means that you’re making yourself available to your potential partner and ready to be seen as the true and authentic you. The emotional scars of the past will continue to hurt in a new relationship if you haven’t addressed the issues at heart.
2.You’re no longer afraid to commit to someone
The scars of the past can continue to impact you even years after the relationship ends. It’s very normal to have a fear of commitment if you’ve experienced a rough relationship. However, when you’re ready for a new relationship you will no longer feel this fear because you’re ready to give yourself and take the next natural step towards the one you love.
3. You’re over your ex and this isn’t a rebound
There’s a saying “to get over someone, you’ve got to get under someone else”. For some, this may ring true and may be part of their way of dealing with a breakup. But for many, this can be a time of emotional vulnerability where any connection is better than no connection. If you have resolved the feelings you had for an ex-partner and have left those in the past and not using this new person to fill a void within you, then you might be ready for a relationship.
4. You’ve ticked off single-only bucket list items
There are some experiences in life that may require you to be single. If you have anything on your bucket list like this, then make sure you’ve done what your heart desires before jumping into a relationship. If you rush into a relationship without exploring your single-only bucket list you may eventually resent your partner from stopping you from enjoying and experiencing things in your life. Be fair to yourself and potential partner by ensuring that you’ve experienced life to the fullest and can move into this new relationship without the possibility of future resentment.
5. You’ve become a great communicator
Clear communication is a foundation of any healthy relationship. Making sure you have the skills to be a great communicator is essential to make sure both of you feel heard and understood. Like anything other skill, communication can take time to develop and perfect, but having a solid understanding of how to communicate honestly, openly and without manipulation is crucial for any relationship.
6. You’re comfortable with your boundaries
It’s important to understand your worth and what you are willing to take on. Remember you’re half of this relationship too. You are just as important as your partner. Knowing your boundaries and sticking to them is crucial to ensure you feel emotionally safe, heard and not taken advantage of. If you’re the type of person that always gives your everything and bends to whatever your partner wants, it may be time to review your personal boundaries and what you can put into place so you can abide by them.
8. You’ve learned to love yourself
By being able to care for yourself, be compassionate and treat yourself with respect you will be able to do this for others. Loving yourself isn’t necessarily self-indulgent but rather seeing yourself in your raw form and choosing to love that version of yourself despite your quirks and flaws. By being able to accept yourself and be comfortable with yourself you’ll be better able to bring your all into this new relationship.
9. You’re able to accept someone as they are
It’s a harsh reality we don’t want to hear “you can’t change people”. People can change for the better, but the motivation to do so comes from within them, not from you. If you’re looking at a potential partner and are thinking “I can help them, I can change them for the better” then you might be setting yourself up for a disappointing and disheartening relationship. Seeing the person as they are and choosing to love them regardless is a sign that you’re ready to take the next step.
10. It just feels right
Life is completely unpredictable, whether you’re ready or not, sometimes someone that catches your eye might fall into your life. And when this happens everything might just feel right. You’re no longer thinking of the checklist your partner needs have, you didn’t push them away and it feels like the stars are aligning in the most magical way. This may mean that you’re ready to take the next steps.
So I hope these 10 tips help you discover your motivations and readiness for the next step in your potential relationship. When you’re truly ready you’ll know. Listen to your intuition and it will guide you to where you need to be. Are you now ready for that new relationship?